Warsaw, Poland Part 2: Women, Movies, Booze and the Policia

This is (probably) the last post on Warsaw… until I go again. 🙂

One memory that stands out is the amount of joviality of the people. If aliens were to land in Poland and meet the people, I think they’d doubt that the country and its people were nearly eliminated within the last century. Instead, they’d think the Poles have been sucking back laughing gas. Makes me wonder if they were laughing with me, or at me.

On that note…

I did get asked out while sitting in a coffee shop, first time that’s ever happened. After visiting the museum in the Pałac Kultury i Nauki (the Palace of Culture and Science) I went to the nearby Coffee Heaven for my espresso and sandwich. Not long after sitting down this girl leans over and asks if I want to go to a movie… without even introducing herself. Immediately I thought, “Finally! Women the world over have realized my sex appeal!” Well, not quite, but I quickly responded, “Sure.” The movie was to be held at the MultiKino of Złote Tarasy, one of the newest and biggest malls in Warsaw.

Zlote Tarasy, Warsaw. It's a mall.

Turns out it was an actual movie premiere for Wojna żeńsko-męska (Voy-na zhen-sko meow-ska), a movie about this female reporter who hits a slump in her career. She comes up with the idea to psycho-analyze men by testing their cock either by observation or physical manipulation. It’s a comedy, by the way. I didn’t understand everything (it was all in Polish), but I think I got the gist of the movie.

After the screening we got to mingle with the celebrities. Well, I didn’t mingle because I wasn’t sure if they spoke English, so I just drank the free wine and ate the sandwiches. You can see some photos of the premiere on the movie’s website. I am not in any of them. 😦 The lead actress is a lot hotter in person, so is her sister (they were both in the movie). My bragging was cut short, however, as no one at the hostel knew anything about the movie or the celebrities. Such is life. To add insult to injury… I didn’t even get a picture so I have nothing to prove my attendance. 😦

I did go to the coolest chocolate shop ever, called Wedel’s. Apparently Poland boasts this family (the Wedel’s) who’ve been making chocolate for some 200 years. Do you remember, as a kid, your parents saying “Don’t eat so much candy or you’ll get sick” and how you, in your invincible youth, would think you know better?

They were right. Go figure.

I was kinda hungry when I went there so I ordered a regular sandwich which cost twice the amount I would’ve paid anywhere else. Before I could finish the sandwich they served me my cup of hot chocolate. This wasn’t just any powdered shit, however, this was a right proper cup of melted milk chocolate. Ffffffffffffffuckin’ awesome. Made me think I was visiting Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. A boy at heart I am.

Since I was there, I tried some of the pralines they had on display. I was given a menu of chocolates to choose from. And they didn’t give me just any dish for these chocolates. No no, they served them on a silver platter. This is when I felt a little out of place. The whole visit left me about 56 PLN poorer and kinda sick from a sugar overdose.

Wedel's Chocolate Lounge in Warsaw, Poland.

I’ve already written about Poland’s national beverage, vodka, complete with its procedures and protocols and the many types that exist. By the way, drinking on the streets is actually illegal and is actually enforced. I found this out the hard way. We were innocently smoking and drinking our beers in a dimly lit, garbage-infested nook when the cops stopped and made their presence known. As luck would have it, I didn’t have my passport on me. The cops didn’t like that.

To add to the friction between us and the dutiful cops, my lady partner refuses to accept the ticket they want to write up! Of course, the entire conversation was in Polish so, at the time, I had no idea what was going on. In my view, it was a very calm conversation with several sideways glances toward me. Turns out she might have to show up in court one day to answer for her refusal.

Chocolate, women, movies and booze aside, my favourite activity, however, was strolling through the streets of both Old and New Towns, arms behind my back, tipping my hat to ladies and police officers alike with a gentle smile, just like an old man. If there is one reason I would like to return to Warsaw, it’s to walk the Old and New Town streets in the summer. It was by walking around like an old man at night that I came to realize that Warsaw looked great at night as the street lights bounced off of the wet pavement.

Walking the streets of Warsaw at night.

And that about sums up my time in Warsaw. I see the hope and feel the energy of great hope among the people. Here you can see the thriving arts scene, booming construction and economy, and have a chance to meet the generous and hospitable local folks.

Warsaw impressed me and I continue to think of it fondly. I missed it as soon as I left.

Kudos, Warsaw, on a job well done.


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